Jeopardize

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Have you ever found yourself on the cusp of success only to sabotage yourself? Maybe this doesn’t apply to you, but for those of you who do understand what I’m writing about, you know this feeling full well. Sometimes it’s out of fear, fear of winning, fear of succeeding – sounds self-defeating doesn’t it? Well, it is.

Whether we are talking about work or relationships, I have known this defense mechanism, shall we call it, too well. For I have messed up potential relationships even before they began by disclosing exactly what I knew would put an end to any sort of hint of commitment. And, in this self-sabotaging move, I have blamed my failure on everything except myself, of course, in denial of my own fear – fear of having one of my dreams come true.

Why, you may ask, would I fear this? It’s not so much fearing the success, it’s a deeper fear of losing this success… losing this relationship… fear that nothing will last forever. But when I finally accepted the fact that nothing on this planet will last forever, only God’s love would last forever, then I was able to let go of this fear and let things happen naturally and fall apart naturally without it affecting me as much negatively. I was able to take in constructive criticism and see my mistakes and those of others as learning opportunities. This gave way to a path of growth and self-improvement that I had never considered and it is actually bringing me closer to success in that I have found an inner peace that cannot be shaken. For this I am grateful!

What do you see impeding you from achieving your current goals – short or long term? Is there anything you can do differently to get closer to achieving them? Why or why not?

via Daily Prompt: Jeopardize

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Stubborn

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I can write a book on this one word – stubborn. In all of my life, I have never met someone who can be more stubborn than myself. Whether it’s about chores or making a change of some sort in my life, I seem to shield myself from things and people with a wall of stubbornness. I have to say that initial “no,” whether out loud or in my mind. But, luckily, I have learned to become more adaptable to change over the years – accepting the fact that I welcome self-reflection and self-improvement. Welcoming change was a big step for me to take, but nonetheless, I took it all on my own and am still working on my stubbornness as you read this.

I can’t tell whether it’s sheer laziness or just an aversion to change, but this stubbornness has held me back from all of the things I would love to do with my life. In the past couple of years I have been working on my health and appearance – dedicating myself to working out at the gym and wearing more appealing clothing as suited to my body. These are just two small steps to bettering myself.

What, if anything, do you find yourself being stubborn about? Perhaps you know someone like myself. I’d love to hear from you about it/or this person.

 

Stubborn