What does this word really mean and why am I feeling this? It means being at the end of the rope in terms of hope – not having anything else to go on. Running on empty… Yesterday I was thinking about some family members and I feel forlorn in that if they can’t treat me with respect and integrity, I have no choice but to give up on them completely. What would that look like? Being fake back. Dishing out bullshit after it’s dealt to me time and time again – or just a long silence knowing they think I’m forever inadequate in their eyes. You see, people who really care don’t find ways to kick you when you’re down. They pull you up to higher ground and put you on their shoulders proudly and without incident. They don’t hint at your shortcomings. They love you no matter what. Simple as that. I’ve been through hell and back, so if you don’t have an ounce of decency to respect that, just leave me alone.